


Unnatural - Natural

by transtwinyards



Series: Life Goes On [3]
Category: The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Coming Out, Depression, F/F, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Self-Hatred, post-BoO
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-19
Updated: 2015-05-19
Packaged: 2018-03-31 06:11:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3967414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transtwinyards/pseuds/transtwinyards
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are a few things that Nico has to come into terms with and most of those are himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unnatural - Natural

**Author's Note:**

> Set before the last part of Life Goes On!
> 
> inspired from YT vids from Ashley Mardell and the thought of Nico having to repair himself. If this is horrible, please give notes, I'm really bad at this stuff, I'm not even out yet lol.
> 
> Comments are appreciated!

This was unnatural. This was extremely unnatural, freakish, and _weird_.

Nico stood in front of the mirror in his cabin and stared at himself, _hard_.

 He remembers his sister’s olive complexion and he is unnatural. He remembers the freckles on her cheeks and he is unnatural. He remembers the considerable amount of flesh on his bones and he is unnatural.

He was unnatural. He was extremely unnatural, freakish, and _weird_.

He’d accepted that a long time ago, between stolen, scared glances; between whispers behind his back, _he’s the son of Hades, did you see what he pulled out of the ground last week?_

Unnatural, like he was always covered in blood, like he’d crawled out of sewers for a living (he’d done it once before. _Once_ was always the turning point for some). Unnatural like he belonged nowhere, and he knew that he absolutely did not.

He felt the ghost feeling of arms embracing him, bracketing his form, _reminding_ him. Heard the whispers of ‘ _We had one home, now we have two’_ and ‘ _I’ve seen a lot of brave things. But what you just did? That was maybe the bravest_ ’ buzzing around his head. Felt the leftover relief of being reminded that he’d already told Percy.

But what was holding him back?

His throat constricted as he looked up from his hands and into his reflection. When had he stopped staring at himself? When had he looked down? He looked himself in the eyes. Deep, dark, and _unnatural_.

And sighed, resigned to his bunk, wondering why he ever even bothered.

* * *

 

Maybe if he told someone else first, he’d feel better about himself. He trusted his friends way more than he trusted himself, after all.

_Just a few close friends. And my sister. It’s not like I’m telling the whole camp, right?_

He blankly stared as Jason, Piper, Annabeth, and Percy wandered around the Oracle’s cave. Wondered about Reyna. Wondered about Hazel and Frank.

“You okay, Nico?” asked Jason, always concerned, earnest blue eyes and scar on his lip. Was the resting bitch face that potent or was he emitting darkness in waves out of nervousness again? Nico gulped, it was now or never.

“...Can you tell them to pay attention? Just for a sec?” He replied softly, feeling a dull ache in his knees, feeling the temperature drop. Only Jason had heard his request.

“Guys,” Jason called out. Everyone turned their heads to the pair and Nico tried not to get nervous about this, silently thanking the gods that Jason didn’t follow-up with ‘Nico has something to say’ because he was going to drop under his own shadow and into his cabin if that had happened.

“I just, uh,” Nico started, his heart beating hard, feeling like it was about to jump out of his ribcage and it was _not_ supposed to do that. Everyone was staring at him, Jason looked concerned. Did they hear? Did they hear it too?

“I wanted to say that... I’m gay?” It came out as a question, well, sounding like it. But it was the first time he’d said it out loud and he didn’t know if the dread in his stomach wanted to rise up like bile or burst because everyone was silent for a few _seconds_ and it felt like time was moving slower. Like he was back in Tartarus, like he was slugging through the Death Mist, like he was breathing in miasma and slowly, _slowly_ dying of suffocation.

A hand came up to his back, smoothing over the wrinkles on his shirt, drawing smooth circles. Jason’s hand. Jason had a soft smile on his face. Annabeth was smiling too.

“Glad you let us know, Nico,” Annabeth thankfully broke the silence. Nico could tackle her with a hug if he could stand without his knees giving out from under him. She gave him a look that made him feel liberated. And the dread in his stomach dissipated immediately.

“That was a brave thing to do,” Jason told him. And Nico let out a breath, a harsh breath that sounded like a laugh.

“You already told me that,” Nico muttered, a grin forming on his face. And then the silence broke.

Percy jumped out of his seat and kicked affectionately at Jason, smiling, “You knew?! You sneaky little git!”

Jason laughed kicking back at Percy, “It wasn’t my place to tell, asshole!”

And just like that, everything was normal. And Nico couldn’t have been more relieved.

* * *

 

Each and every morning, he’d get up and work up the courage to go up to the mirror and tell himself. Nothing but his boxers on, his body in display. Every scar, stitch, and freckle popping out and he was _natural_. He was _normal_.

Jason and Percy hung out with him more, Piper and Annabeth too. Drew Tanaka, he’d began talking to her, eventually growing to like her. In the most him way he could imagine. (The U word is now officially banned, he had told himself)

“We could work on your wardrobe, di Angelo, really,” she sneered as he walked up to her in his usual ripped jeans, black tee attire. Nico rolled his eyes.

“I get enough crap from Percy already. If you want to work on my wardrobe, get me one,” he jokingly said.

Sure enough, days later, there’s a knock on his door and a dozen shopping bags on the porch of his cabin.

Drew stood there, filing her nails. She probably got a few satyrs to carry these for her. Nico smiled and bumped her arm, ruining her nail-filing and laughing. Hugs were out of the question.

“Thanks,” Nico said, looking through the bags as Drew sat down the bunk across his.

“You got my style down to a tee, I see,” There were five different button ups of different (very pastel) colors with skull motifs. A few hoodies, and shoes. Nico snorted when Drew puffed up with pride.

“How’d you get my pants size right?” Nico asked when he’d started picking through outfits when Drew demanded he did.

“I asked Jason,” she replied, almost like it was the obvious answer. It only brought up more questions in his head but he didn’t ask anymore.

 _Maybe one day I’ll tell her_.

* * *

 

Nico grimaced at the weight of his suitcase. He could have sworn it wasn’t _this_ heavy when he’d arrived at Camp Jupiter.

When she saw the sudden array of color in his suitcase, Hazel made the most high-pitched squeal Nico’s ever heard her make. Then she started rambling on about her having a few shirts like that and how she can give them to him because she didn’t fit in them.

Nico politely declined.

Now it was apparent she didn’t care that he’d declined. He was getting the clothes either way.

“Good luck with the flight, Nico,” she said. They were in the airport, Frank’s arm around her shoulders as she said her goodbyes.

She kissed him in the cheeks. Yes, _both_ cheeks. Nico retaliated by mimicking her and landing one on her nose. She giggled.

“Hurry it up, guys!” Rachel shouted from where she was standing. Reyna was with her by the gates and Nico left them alone. He probably needed to because Reyna was glaring at him when he mock-gagged at their affection for one another.

Honestly, they should just start dating or something.

But Nico had to do other important things. He waved Reyna to them, relieved and a little conflicted when she left Rachel’s side almost immediately.

He held Reyna’s hand, putting his suitcase down to hold Frank’s free hand, bringing them to a semi-circle in the middle of the airport.

“I-I just wanted to tell you guys before I left that, um...” Nico gulped, looking into Hazel’s eyes, and Reyna’s eyes, and Frank’s and _he can do this._

He squeezed Reyna’s hand, she squeezed back and that made him let go of the breath he was holding.

“I’m gay... And I’ve been meaning to tell you guys in person all of the three days I’ve been here but, I just couldn’t? And I told the others back at Half-Blood already but I wanted to just say that in person, not over Iris Message, y'know?” He stopped himself before he rambled on. He looked down at his feet in embarrassment.

The silence lasted for half a second.

Frank broke it when he gathered all of them in a very soft, firm, and _tight_ group hug. Hazel let out a laugh and so did Reyna, and Nico was _relieved_.

Frank let out a huge laugh, “Thanks for telling us, Nico! Gosh, that probably took a lot out of you if it took you all of _three days_ , wow! And oh—no. I’m sorry I hugged, you have a thing against touching right? I’m— Holy Hera.”

Nico laughed at how much he’s apologizing, but also because he felt so relieved. “It’s okay, Frank. Really.”

Hazel brought him back to a hug of her own, squeezing, “I love you no matter what, Nico. You should know that too,” she whispered to him and he could feel himself tearing up.

“I love you too, Hazel.”


End file.
